Wild and Wacky Interviews (Part 2)

 

The live interview had not been going all that well. I was discussing my new book (at the time), Too Blessed to be Stressed, with a Pennsylvania Christian radio host whom I'll call Dale. 

I was a bit surprised to have a male interviewing me for my clearly delineated "women's inspirational book," but that happens from time to time, and I've truly had some quite excellent male interviewers mixed in with the clueless. 

As it turns out, Dale was of the latter category.

By the reluctance in his voice, hesitant questions, and silent responses as I threw out my normal women-oriented humor, I could tell he wasn't in his confidence zone. We weren't connecting. The magical rapport between host and guest that makes for the best interviews just wasn't there.

It was obvious to me that Dale hadn't even read my book, but was working his way through the Table of Contents using the chapter titles and associated topics (which were listed in parentheses) to formulate seat-of-the-pants questions.

The coup de grace came during the final five minutes of the 15-minute interview. As Dale slogged his way through the TOC to the last section, he came upon chapter 32, "Luther's Legacy." I could hear the sunrise in his attitude and relief in his voice. At last, he was thinking, Something I can sink my teeth into.

"I see, Debora, that you've got a chapter here on 'Luther's Legacy,'" Dale observed almost gleefully. "I've done extensive study on the works of Martin Luther. Why don't you tell us about Luther's legacy as it applies to handling the stress in our lives."

There was nothing to be done but to break it to him as gently as possible. On the air. In front of thousands of his regular listeners.

"Um, Dale. I'm sure Martin Luther had a lot of wonderful things to say that would be applicable to the topic of stress, but this particular chapter is about a monkey. A monkey named Luther." 

It shouldn't have come as a surprise that when I later asked the station for a copy of the interview that they'd assured me would be taped, somehow the the recording machinery had developed a glitch and the interview was lost.

Go figure.

Wild and Wacky Interviews (part 1)

Deb in London

Someone suggested, as I recently finished regaling a writerly audience with a couple of zany stories about my book interview misadventures, that I jot them down for posterity's sake. And a little literary entertainment.

A fine idea indeed.

So here we go with the first of three abridged versions of some of the stark craziness that goes on behind the scenes of  TV and radio interviews of, yes, even your favorite seemingly well-put-together and unflappable authors.

(Which is why, I presume, some authors flatly refuse to do interviews.)

My publicist arranged an interview with a very popular radio show host on a date when I was scheduled to be traveling with my husband. After unsuccessfully attempting to reschedule, I was forced to do the live interview by cell phone from the back seat of a moving vehicle -certainly no one's first choice, but in this case, it couldn't be helped.

In preparation, I packed the "cheat sheets" for my newest book, More Beauty, Less Beast (meaning the pages containing catch phrases and lucid discussion points I plan to use on the air so not to look like a scatter-brained ninny-muffin). Cheat sheets work famously for radio interviews, but not so well for TV, where you look ridiculous staring at notes scribbled on your hand or taped to your shoe.

Believe me, I know.

So on this ill-fated day, the radio host and I connected just as my husband turned the car onto a congested interstate. I had already done dozens of interviews about More Beauty, Less Beast since it's release a few months before, but going on-air still made me nervous. Especially live, where you can't edit or gracefully cover up mistakes.

I listened intently to the host's introduction with my key point-tabbed copy of More Beauty, Less Beast in hand and all my cheat sheets spread out across the car seat for easy reference. I was as ready as I'd ever be.

"Welcome, everyone, to our show today, " the host announced in her official radio voice. "We're so fortunate to have award-winning author Debora Coty here to speak about her book, Too Blessed to be Stressed."

Aack! What? Back the truck up! My mind flew in all directions at once, like frizzy hair in a gale. Did she say, Too Blessed to be Stressed? But I'm all prepared to discuss More Beauty, Less Beast!

Not only was that the wrong book, but I'd written two books since that one and had no idea what was in which. And I hadn't brought copies of anything but More Beauty, Less Beast with me!

I began frantically gesturing into the rear view mirror for poor long-suffering Spouse to pull over, which took several minutes for him to: a) catch on, b) stop asking if I was having a heart attack and if he should call 911, and c) jockey to the outside lane on the busy highway. Before the wheels even rolled to a stop, I flew to the trunk and began heaving luggage onto the shoulder of the road as cars whizzed by at 80 mph, all the while trying to keep a pleasant conversation going with the radio host as if all were well with the world.

Thankfully, I finally found a copy of Too Blessed to be Stressed beside the spare tire and by flipping pages wildly, was able to (sort of) present some semblance of an intelligent discussion for the next 30 minutes as slack-jawed, head-shaking Spouse reloaded the car and we tooled on down the highway.   

Stay tuned for my next Wild and Wacky Interview post.  

Who's Your Daddy?

In England you Give Way rather than Yield

My last two posts have been on perfecting the basics of word-smithing.

I'd like to end this mini-series with one last Mt. Everest of writing: correct punctuation.

I borrowed the following examples of the undeniable importance of proper punctuation from Sue Miholer (suemiholer@comcast.net), a wonderful writer and editor who spoke at the Florida Inspirational Writers Retreat.

Note the distinct and astounding difference in meaning of the paragraph below with just a few simple changes in punctuation:

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is all about. You are generous, kind, thoughtful. People who are not like you admit to being useless and inferior. You have ruined me for other men. I yearn for you. I have no feelings whatsoever when we're apart. I can be forever happy - will you let me be yours?
Gloria

Dear John,
I want a man who knows what love is. All about you are generous, kind, thoughtful people, who are not like you. Admit to being useless and infereior. You have ruined me. For other men, I yearn. For you, I have no feelings whatsoever. When we're apart, I can be forever happy. Will you let me be?
Yours,
Gloria

Big wow, huh? In the first example, Gloria has the major hots for John. In the second, Glo wants to shed him like two-week-old leg hair. The exact same words were used for each, but sentiment completely shifted with the re-placement of a few commas, periods, and question marks.

My point?

We must proof our work and pay careful attention to how we use - or misuse- punctuation. Excellent references are Strunk and White's The Elements of Style, The New Webster's Grammar Guide, and The Chicago Manual of Style.

If we're not careful, we might one day inadvertently shed new light on even our own lineage with one missed comma:

I'd like to thank my parents, the Pope, and Mother Teresa.
I'd like to thank my parents, the Pope and Mother Teresa.

Is There an "A" on Your Forehead?

Rainbow at Niagara Falls

Following up my last post on mistaken word identity, I thought it prudent to touch on a few other common mistakes that stamp an infernal "A" (for Amateur) on the foreheads of wide-eyed, unwary new writers. 

The first, and most insipid, is the use of passive voice verses active voice. Passive means "being done to" as opposed to the active "doing."

Example of passive voice: "Johnny found himself lost because he was reluctant to ask directions." Active: "Johnny got lost because he was reluctant to ask directions."

Or passive: "A good time was had by all" versus active: "Everyone had a good time."

A subtle difference to you, perhaps, and possibly some readers, but a red flag to editors. They figure if you're sloppy or ignorant in writing passively, you're probably sloppy and ignorant in other writing basics and therefore not worth their precious time.

Another faux pas I see repeatedly in the work of fresh writers is the use of two spaces between sentences. Regardless of what your high school English teacher told you, these days only a single space is used after punctuation. Another red flag to editors that labels you with that big A.

Speaking of punctuation, in case you didn't know, there are vastly different opinions out there on the proper usage of commas and semi-colons. I received a 2-page manifesto from one of my publishing houses on their guidelines for commas. And of course those hard and fast "rules" differed greatly from those of my next publisher.

I've seen writers nearly come to blows at writer's conferences over semi-colons.

The answer to this conundrum? When in doubt, stick with the Chicago Manual of Style for books, and the AP Manual for newspapers and magazines. As long as you're consistent, any editor worth their ink will accept your well-written manuscript, knowing they'll be copy editing it before publication anyway.

Then there's the over-the-top creative use of tags (speaker attributions) that actually distract from dialogue instead of enhancing it. "Said" is generally considered an invisible tag, and although you don't want to overuse it by polka-dotting the page with it, you mustn't yield to the temptation to dress it up in a prom gown either.

"Mary retorted," "Lulu intoned," and "Peter rebutted" may seem clever at the moment of inception, but consider that they may become what I call "eye-ball walls" to the reader. That's anything that stops the smooth flow of mental images (like a movie playing in your head) and makes the reader think, "Wait. What was that?"

If your reader has to stop, back up, and reread anything you've written for clarification, you've just flunked Writing 101.

Try to avoid tags at all, especially in two-person dialogues. Instead, cleverly use beats (little snippets of action) to show who is talking, rather than stating the obvious. This also serves to keep that all-important movie rolling in the reader's head rather than reduce your dialogue to talking heads.

Annabelle stretched a tentative hand out to pat Jason's cheek. "I've always believed in you."
"I just don't know what to do." Matt rubbed the back of his neck as he paced the floor.  

Many of these far-too-common errors will be nipped in the bud by a professional editor, which I keep saying ad nauseum is an absolute MUST before your manuscript is submitted to a publishing house editor or agent.

Remember, the competition out there is fierce, and with an unpolished manuscript, you're entering battle with your chain mail down around your ankles and a big red "A" stamped on your forehead.

Mistaken Identity

Deb and Baby Blaine settling a dino tiff in Canada

I recently noticed, while reading the published newsletter of an author buddy, the statement, "I'm anxious to see my new grandson."

Now this is an accomplished professional writer - make that award-winning, best-selling author of dozens of wonderful books - and she, like many of us, sometimes slip-slides down the slope of mistaken identity.

Mistaken word identity. 

Did she really mean anxious, as in "worried" or "fear about some contingency" (Webster's definition), or did she mean eager, (enthusiastic desire")?

Although there might have been an element of nervous tension about meeting the bouncing baby grand for the first time, I'd be willing to bet the farm that her anticipation and excitement were more in the eager camp.

Anxious vs eager - just one of the many tricky word pairs that often suffer mistaken identity.

Can you readily tell the differences between these commonly misused couples?

Elude/allude                              past/passed                            illicit/elicit
except/accept                           further/farther                         then/than
i.e./e.g.                                     every day/everyday                compliment/complement
counsel/council                          principle/principal                   whose/who's

I have to admit, I often screw up except and accept, and have been known to illicit a response now and then. And is there anyone who really has a handle on further vs farther other than the brilliant writer kid in the movie, Finding Forrester?

Well, the point is, as a writer who is head and shoulders above the mundane pack, you should know the difference and be able to detect an incorrect usage immediately. (That means you're proofreading your work, right??) I guarantee you editors know the difference, and your blunders in substituting one for the other might mean the difference between publication or bewilderment at receiving a steady stream of rejection slips.
 
I hope this subtle remainder about alluding mistaken word identity and the impotence of proofreading your manuscripts will help you develop better work principals and disciple too take you farther along the every day rode to righting success.

  

Herding a Book to Press, Part 2

Deb's new book releasing Feb, 2013

As I mentioned in my last post, the process of getting a book to press is a lot like herding snakes.

If you haven't read it yet, scroll back and catch up by scanning my last post. There. Now we're all on the same page ... when the real work begins: book release day.

But before I say another word, what do you think of the brand-new cover for Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate? I like it very much - especially the surprise butterfly, which is symbolic of the freedom from fear we talk about throughout the book. Kudos to the Barbour design department - great job, guys! 

Okay, back to snake herding. Preparation actually begins about two months before release date when you need to get your publicity/promo plan set in place.

I usually order about 500 (or more) bookmarks with my new book featured on front, endorsements and a list of my other books with my website on back. Full color both sides, glossy and nice. No wimpy paper bookmarks, please. Remember, this is your best and most inexpensive form of advertising. Create something you can be proud of, and pass them out liberally. If you buy them in bulk, they'll only run between 10 - 15 cents each. I use Print Runner online.

Then, begin to make connections with media outlets, bloggers, and book review sites. If you or your publisher can get your galley to reviewers ahead of your release date, all the better. Then you hit the ground running as soon as the book hits outlets, posting your glowing reviews everywhere you can. (Ignore any that aren't glowing ... there will always be at least one.)

Either hire a publicity firm (I use LitFuse Publicity Group) or do the legwork yourself, but it's a great idea to do a blog tour of at least 50 well-traveled sites (LifFuse sets up an 80-site blog tour for me) to get the word out about your book. I also do a Facebook party (which LitFuse arranges and runs) with awesome giveaways, which attracts a lot of attention and gets your readers revved up.

(Not to mention yourself - FB parties are boatloads of fun!) 

And you're off to the races. Advertise your speaker services - featuring a topic related to your book, of course - and accept all the invitations you can. Plan to devote about four months immediately following your book's release to all the traveling and promo related to spreading the good news. Most publishing companies have PR departments which can help you, but the lion's share of the promo responsibility falls on the author.

Once you've got those snakes wriggling in the right direction, you're ready to tackle herding something really challenging.  Like 2-year-olds!

The Process of Herding a Book to Press, Part 1

Wow - I do apologize for my tardiness in posting lately. I've been holed up in a mountain cabin for the past three weeks working feverishly to beat my deadline for my new book, Fear, Faith, and a Fistful of Chocolate. 

And I'm happy to report it's finished! For now. But not forever. Let me explain. 

 With work finally winding up on the third book in my "Take On Life" series for Barbour Books, I thought you might like an update on the process of getting a book to press. It's not quite as easy as writing it and simply turning it in. Oh, how I wish it were! It's more like herding snakes.

What happens is this: You're given a deadline for completion in the contract which you signed back when you negotiated the deal with your publisher. It, like most other fine contractual points, is negotiable. They'll usually expect 4-6 months to finish a partially completed manuscript, but that can vary depending on a lot of factors. In my case, I agreed to a smidge over 5 months to write the thing from scratch.

I had only previously written one sample chapter, which I included with my proposal. Since this was the third book of a series and they were already well acquainted with my writing, they accepted only one chapter, but usually a minimum of three are required for a new series or a stand-alone book.

Since I was super busy promoting the second book of the series, More Beauty, Less Beast, which had just been released about the time I signed the contract for the fear book (which didn't have its final title until about a month ago), I wasn't sure when I was going to find time to write. Traveling, speaking and conducting interviews to promote a book drain more energy than you can imagine ... not just living-day-to-day energy, but creative energy as well.

But I HAD to get the next book done. My contract said so.

So I budgeted out how many words I should write each week of my allocated time to complete it, with two spare weeks at the end for self-editing before turning it in. My contract called for 50k words, so a simple math equation provided me with my weekly goal, which I then divided by 7 to get a daily word count goal.

Then I knew that I must, as the commercial wisely instructs, just do it. 

So I did. When interruptions arose (as they inevitably do), and I wasn't able to log my daily word count, I made up for it before the week was out so I wouldn't fall too far behind. Then the two weeks at the end were used to go over the entire manuscript with a fine-tooth comb - that's called line editing - not just once, not just twice, but three times. And I was still finding things that needed to be tweaked.

Then after I submitted the completed manuscript, the waiting game begins. But I mustn't forget to mention that hitting that "send" button somehow cues my agent and editor (how do they know???) to begin elbowing me about ideas for my NEXT book. Yeesh! Is there no such thing as down time?

Okay, so we're still about 6 months away from my release date, Feb 1, 2013, sometime in November, I can expect to hear from my publishing house editor for the first round of edits. She doesn't make the changes, only suggests which changes that I'm to make. We arm-wrestle over any discrepancies of opinion that might arise, and then the usual course of action is that I yield and make the changes so she won't resort to a full body slam.

Once this final editing process begins, you're expected to give up life as you know it for about two weeks. Hurry, hurry hurry. As soon as you finish first round edits and turn in the corrected m/s, within a few days, it magically returns to you from yet another editor with more suggested changes. Or you might luck out and only have a few. But the process usually goes three rounds before you're presented with the galley, the finished product which shouldn't need any more changes. It's up the author to go through it one last time, checking every single word and punctuation mark, to make sure it's as perfect as it can be.

Then the galley goes to print. And within a few weeks, usually around three weeks before your scheduled release date, your beautiful brand spanking new book arrives in the mail, along with your "author copies." The number of these depends on what you negotiated for in your contract. Many times, it's between 20-50, but I always request 100 to give away at book events and for promotion.

And the real work begins. You dive in over your head into the promotion ocean, which I'll talk more about next time. So stay tuned for the next episode of, "As the Printing Press Burns ..."